I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
