At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Shame - the story of my life.
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