idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
