you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
