I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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