it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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