It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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