I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
