he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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