And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
