VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
