You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
