Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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