I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
