Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
