Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize