it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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