K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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