the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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