we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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