I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
COCAINE IS GR8
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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