I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
