So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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