one two three fourrrrnication!
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
