Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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