he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
