I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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