Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now

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(707): View more from California

You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.

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(585): View more from New York

Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.

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(314): View more from Missouri

OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!

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(818): View more from California

He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.

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