Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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