Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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