they need to just BURY HIM!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
