i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
