Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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