playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize