i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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