Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.

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(630): View more from Illinois

REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"

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(805): View more from California

You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.

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(925): View more from California

well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.

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