Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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