My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
