So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
