dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
