I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
