you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
