how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
