So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
