Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize