Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
