they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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