Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize