nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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