Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
