I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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