Someone shit on the floor
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
