Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
