do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
