Welp...herpes.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
