So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
