I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
