Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
