So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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