just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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